As usual now in my new life I reached out to some remarkable people, other bereaved parents who are travelling beside me on my hellish road! I reach out to my new friends for help, support and guidance. I don't know if I could have climbed up from rock bottom on some days without them! This day on Sunday (and Ben's Birthday on Monday) I knew my hand was being held and I was offered some good advice!
The best advice was "do it differently!"! I wish I had expressed my feelings earlier because it was 10 o'clock at night and Ben's birthday was the next day and I didn't have time to do or organise anything really different but I tried and it helped!
Ben opened his presents on our bed instead of downstairs and we had breakfast in bed! After school we went to Pizza Express instead of a tea party at home! Not a huge difference but different enough! I cried more the day before than the day after and I think the build up is worse than the day itself!
All in all it was a nice day! It had to be for Ben, it is the least he deserves my lovely brave boy! My brave boy who said to me at bed time he would never have Birthdays or Christmas ever again if we could have Hannah back!
Big hugs! Jess' birthday was 4 days after B died, it's a whole new different type of hell I agree
ReplyDeleteI have found all special days hard with our missing girl.
ReplyDeleteYou did really well. I have done both Aaron and Seths birthdays now, we just have to think that hopefully it will be a bit easier next year, if you hadn't done anything this year it would just make next year even harder. I think doing it differently is the key, like you said, not much but enough. It also seems that the anticipation is worse than the day, and like you the day before is normally worse. xxxx
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