I popped into our Village on Saturday and noticed that they are planting the Jubilee wood on Sunday 2nd December which coincides with Hannah's 15th Birthday. My original Birthday survival plan was to avoid the whole world and stay in bed all day but seeing this advert for volunteers has made me realise that it would actually be really nice to get family and friends together as a team to help plant the Jubilee wood.
After the planting I thought we could go back to our local pub The Freemasons Arms in Handforth and arrange for a Hotpot of some kind or even some sausage sandwiches (Hannah's fave) and a few drinks, then set off some Chinese Lanterns when it gets dark.
In the middle of these thoughts I suddenly thought, What the hell am I doing? How can it possibly nearly be Hannah's Birthday and how can I do this without her? Last year she asked me for an Iphone 4 and I told her it was too expensive for a Birthday present, I told her to ask for money or vouchers and I would put towards it. I'll never ever forget her face when she opened her present and it was the Iphone4, we thought she was going to burst with joy!
I set her Iphone up on my Itunes which meant when I downloaded something it would go onto her phone and vice versa, I downloaded the latest Radio 1 live lounge album today and listened to it at work thinking of how much Han would love it and how I wouldn't have downloaded it had she been here, I would have bought her this CD for her Birthday. I would have also bought her the next Now CD, Now 83 if it was out in time, if not then it will probably be out in time for Christmas.
I have read that the run up to Birthdays are worse than the day itself, I hope so because I am a mess...
Lots of love to you Danielle - it might be ok, it might be totally shite. I dont' think you can really predict it until it happens.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a lovely positive plan to remember Hannah, and quite honestly, other people cope better with knowing how to respond if you tell them what you want them to do. Be gentle with yourself and go with the flow - these are difficult times xx
I think for me the anticipation of the first lot of firsts have so far been a heck of a lot worse than the actual event, but it was still shit I love the idea of planting the flowers and would like to make a donation of some bulbs if I could? But on the actual day I think you have to go with the flow
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