Tomorrow we will be going to Markmas, all five of us minus one! There will be friends that we haven't seen since Hannah's funeral and closer friends and family that will try and understand. We will release Chinese lanterns that last year blew back into the garden and all the kids ran scared inside, there is a video that you can hear Hannah shouting and laughing! I will think and ache for Hannah all night, I can still see her image in that setting in my mind from last year covered in fake snow (foam) from the snow machine in the back yard!
On Monday we have Bonfire night. We would normally go to the Scout Hut but it's bizarre! I try to face things but we've done the Scout Hut bonfire forever and we LOVED it, I just cannot possibly face it! We are going to a different one that I have been to but the kids haven't. Last time I went, the man on the mulled wine stall checked the temperature with his finger, licked it then checked again with same finger!!! I still bought some though, it was bloody freezing!
After Monday I have a month off until December 2nd which would be Hannah's 15th Birthday, what a crock of shit that will be!!!!
I've just stumbled across your blog and read back over most of your posts. Really sorry for your loss, I just cant imagine what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging not long after losing my Mum and blogesphere really helped. I know losing a child must be so much more painful than losing a Mum, but I hope your blog helps you in some way. Sending you lots of love and my heartfelt condolences xxx
I think you're doing grand to keep going as well as you are Danielle. All these firsts are very painful - and it seems never ending. The only comfort is that their short lives were full and filled with laughter xx
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